The matters of our heart are complex. When we refer to our heart, we typically think about the part of us where our feelings and most intimate realities happen. The heart is like our home. The place where we can find ourselves, connect with a Higher Power and share our essence with the physical world.
Life however, will bring challenges that can wound us deeply. In times of turbulence it is common to feel crushed in our hearts. Sometimes the damage is so big that we lose sight of us. We tend to lose connection with the world and we wonder about the mere existence of a Higher Power. How can we relate to others? How can we interact with the world when fear is guiding our heart?
Love is the answer
Love is the primal glue of the universe, the essence that heals. Love is all, love is YOU. Love is an extraordinary experience we have as humans. But then, why is such a wonderful feeling so hard sometimes?
In love, there are two opposing forces, Eros & Thanatos. These are the forces that make our journey through life be painful, crazy and beautiful. Eros (love) cannot exist without Thanatos (death). Eros is the force of life that charms, attracts and unites. Thanatos is the force of death that divides and destroys. Its impossible to have one without the other, coming together and pulling apart the inseparable steps of a single dance.
When these two forces are out of balance, love gets scary. We are reminded of the possibility of loss, and our fear of loss and loss itself is what damages the core of our heart, our home, our essence.
How to heal the heart:
Healing the heart is a lifelong process. Life will inevitably bring opportunities in which we will ask ourselves the most difficult questions. Life will urge us to know ourselves and thus the journey begins. Below are the steps to the journey of Self Discovery.
Begin with self acceptance. Honor every part of your self. Recognize these parts as an essential element of the whole.
Behold Eros & Thanatos. The struggle between the Soul´s need for attachment and Spirit´s need for freedom. Thanatos will urge us to honor its presence and understand its importance. It is in our separateness, in the destruction where we find the missing pieces, where we build and re-build a better version of ourselves and where we grow stronger. Eros, on the other hand is what provides love. It is where our dreams are created, where we find what we aspire, where we discover what makes living worthwhile.
Dont be afraid of your feelings and remember to breathe. Feelings are internal flows of energy that move through the body. We access the feelings by breathing. When we hold back a feeling, we hold back our breath. When we hold back our breath we restrict a vital nourishment, it numbs us. Feel, let the breath guide the feeling and cleanse the body.
Grieve and forgive. We will all experience grief, its inevitable. Acknowledge it and express it. When we deny it, we become cold and distant, we take away our aliveness. When we express it, we open more space for hope, compassion and for the expression of our Spirit.
- Mantras and intentions:mantras are word or phrases chanted internally or out loud with the objective of shifting our perspective and allowing a new sense of self. They help you find beauty in each day.
Heart healing exercises:
- Self discovery and self acceptance: find a place where you feel safe and peaceful. In a piece of paper or journal, write down:
- All the roles you play in your life using “I am a “ (I am a daughter)
- All the feelings you have ever had using “I have felt” or “I am feeling” (I am feeling love).
- The parts of your body you like using “I like my “ (I like my eyes).
- The parts of your body you wish were different using “I wish my… were different, but I am thankful or grateful for them”. (I wish my legs were longer, but I am grateful for them).
- After they are all written down, read them out loud and behold each one of them, witness and embrace with your awareness. Let yourself know that they are part of you and you are part of them.2. Beholding Eros & Thanatos: Find a place where you feel safe and peaceful. In a paper or journal, write down:
- On a paper or journal, write down any experience where you felt like you needed to be alone or distance your self from someone, not because you didn’t love them, but because you needed that space to be able to bring the better side of you. Write down all the feelings, sensations, thoughts and images you remember.
- Close your eyes and try to go back to that time. Stay with any feeling that arises and acknowledge it.
Think of a time when someone you love asked for some space. What feelings, sensations and/or thoughts come to you? Stay with anything that arisesand acknowledge it, behold them.
Try to put your self in the shoes of that other significant person, remember that the fear of loosing individuality in that other person is not a statement about you, but the force of Thanatos trying to balance the relationship making way for Eros, new and better experiences.
- Feeling and Breathing: Find a place where you feel safe and peaceful. In a paper or journal, write down:
- Start to connect with your breath, allow it to become smooth and balanced. Try not to hold before the inhalation or after the exhalation. Observe which parts of your body are constricted and try to expand them when you inhale.
- Notice what feelings, impulses and desires arise, try not to push them away, invite them and stay with them for a a few more breaths.
- When you feel ready, every time you inhale, think of things that make you feel love, reach for them with your breath and pull them in.
- When you exhale, think about letting go of fear or rejection.
Mantras that heal the heart
- I am worthy of love
- I am loving to my self and others
- There is an infinite supply of love.
- Today I will choose happiness
When we allow ourselves the process of self discovery, we are able of honoring and getting to know the self within, then, we can honor the self that lives within an other. To love our self is to act respectfully and responsibly toward our being, to enjoy our own company, to honor our limits and to respect our truths. Only then can we star to understand love, brighten our light and have meaningful and loving relationships with others.
Open your heart and fly.
L.O.V.E … Mel